Be secure.. but becareful not to fall.
Tomorrow at 7:30 in the morning I have doctor's appointment to see how my ulcer is doing. I'm a little nervous but my stomach has been doing great in recent weeks… Well I am super hungry, but that's a good thing.
I started my Bloomsday training the other day. I'm up to a couple 9 minute miles in the gym. The true test will come when I go out on Sunday and do a run on the pavement. Losing 20 pounds to stress has some benefits. I have been doing weights at the gym and I think I am stronger then ever before. I know the more I work out the more definition I will get in my muscles. Bloomsday is a major goal for me… one of the things I want to conquer in my life.
The beard has just got to the stage when it starts to itch. Growing it out till Easter is going to be a struggle, but like many things in my life right now it has meaning.
I went to a place tonight I was worried about going. I was in a room where others were afflicted by the same things I am going through. Addiction and self hang –ups are never a good thing. I realize that I am just as compulsive as someone with other issues. It was good for me. No one asked me what affliction I am dealing with, and had they asked I might have wept. I am ready to tell others though.
I worry about the changes that might take place in my life, but if they change me into a better man… Well I can't go wrong right? Someone asked me the other night if I was dealing and changing for myself or for everyone else. The truth is I am not doing it for any one here.
One thing I took out of the meeting was if you can obsess about anything way to much.
So that's where I am at. I have great friends around me that have been supportive of the new journey I have started on. Even friends online have been supportive. I read and write every night and I am running everyday.
In all I feel calmer… except in the moments when I want to fix everything and start obsessing about everything. It's a relapse. But I realize it will happen. I just need to get back up and keep working on it.
Peace, Hugs and Handshakes,
R-
I started my Bloomsday training the other day. I'm up to a couple 9 minute miles in the gym. The true test will come when I go out on Sunday and do a run on the pavement. Losing 20 pounds to stress has some benefits. I have been doing weights at the gym and I think I am stronger then ever before. I know the more I work out the more definition I will get in my muscles. Bloomsday is a major goal for me… one of the things I want to conquer in my life.
The beard has just got to the stage when it starts to itch. Growing it out till Easter is going to be a struggle, but like many things in my life right now it has meaning.
I went to a place tonight I was worried about going. I was in a room where others were afflicted by the same things I am going through. Addiction and self hang –ups are never a good thing. I realize that I am just as compulsive as someone with other issues. It was good for me. No one asked me what affliction I am dealing with, and had they asked I might have wept. I am ready to tell others though.
I worry about the changes that might take place in my life, but if they change me into a better man… Well I can't go wrong right? Someone asked me the other night if I was dealing and changing for myself or for everyone else. The truth is I am not doing it for any one here.
One thing I took out of the meeting was if you can obsess about anything way to much.
So that's where I am at. I have great friends around me that have been supportive of the new journey I have started on. Even friends online have been supportive. I read and write every night and I am running everyday.
In all I feel calmer… except in the moments when I want to fix everything and start obsessing about everything. It's a relapse. But I realize it will happen. I just need to get back up and keep working on it.
Peace, Hugs and Handshakes,
R-
4 Comments:
Except in the moments when I want to fix everything and start obsessing about everything.
As you say, those moments will happen. But they do get less and less frequent, you just need to not worry about when the next one is going to pop up to try and trip you up.
Try bringing up a mental image of a scene you like, and add in a few details. Then think about walking into the nice scene, and away from the obsession. Each time you do it, add a few more details to the nice side :)
If nothing else, it gives your mind something to work on at the time.
Hope it goes well with the doctor, and that the ulcer is well on the way to disappearing totally.
Take care,
Tarl
Lots of good wishes from the Mouse Pad for you, GD.
You're doing great already! Just keep it up - and don't obsess on how you're doing!
We're all pulling for you!
As I am now getting on in years, so to speak, topped the half a century mark and experienced many dark and low spots, I have found it sometimes helpful to see many circumstances in life as a game and a game as life. In both cases, play through. One foot in front of the other, one finger hitting a key on the keyboard of life at a time. There are moments of puzzlement but also, eventually more often then not I have found, comes illumination and relief. Don't let the circumstances stop or drag you down where you are at. Just like the excersizes you are doing, over time, you will if allowing yourself to, come through stronger and better equiped for the next challenge. The game gets better.
More then anything, I wish peace to you, peace to your mind, peace to your body, peace to your soul.
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