Service Center

Cinderella complex-

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Thu, 01 May 2008 10:16:00 +0000

So I haven’t typed a blog in awhile and thought it was about time that I do so. I have a lot of good friends and I am making new ones everyday. Sometime these friends ask me for advice or better yet we just have a great conversation about life.

I would have to say I am kind of sad tonight. See when it comes to my friends I wish the best for them. I want them to have a fulfilling life beyond the norm. It is okay to live in the norm... many people do. However, when I look at my friends I see kings and queens… and the norm seems so boring when compared to the potential they have in them.

So I tend to get frustrated at people when I think they aren’t living up to there best. Maybe I say something that is kind of rude. Or maybe I push into them harder to get to the heart of an issue that is bothering them. I don’t do this because I revel in their torture. I do this because I would want them to do the same to me. In fact I have to say thanks to my friend Julz for doing just that. I never get mad at her for pointing out character flaws. If she thinks I am leading on a girl she will tell me. If she thinks I am being dishonest to someone she will tell me. She makes me reexamine things about my self and I am very thankful to her for it.

So you are asking, “Ryan what are you getting at?” See in the last few days I have heard from a few women that Prince charming doesn’t exist. That fairytales never happen and that one needs to just be happy with the happiness given to them.

Let me just come out and say… that’s a copout.

Don’t women understand they have the power? That they can demand higher standards and if they are unhappy they can leave? That they are in such a position that there shouldn’t be any jerkfaces on the planet… but they just have to demand those standards. Men are simple folk. I hate to say it… but we are, and if we don’t have to work for your love we won’t. I think this is why women of faith sometimes get frustrated. They see other women out there getting relationships and wonder to God when it will be their turn.

I’m reading a book that a friend of mine is trying to publish. I think the first title of it was going to be something like “all men are assholes and some are trying to not be “. But the new title is better in my opinion. I really wish this book was published. I have about 5 women now that I want to read the book. I think it was meant for men, however, it explains the mind of a man in such detail that women need to read this book. It actually makes me sad… because some woman is in a relationship right now and can’t see the “bad fruit”.

Before I go further let me say this, I don’t think any of the relationships my friends are in are bad. What I am saying is just don’t settle. Want the best from your boyfriend or girlfriend.

That’s what I am dealing with right now. I want to be a prince but I didn’t always want to be this way. I really am working on my issues right now and learning how to live by believing in myself. Oh but don’t think I am “cured”. Change takes years to happen. I mean don’t even get me started about lust. I long for someone in my life. I love to feel complete, but I also long to be closer to God and it’s the reason I have had to make myself unavailable. Lust is never a good thing anyways. Look at what C.S. Lewis says in The Four Loves.

“…when we say, of a lustful man prowling the streets, that he ‘wants a woman.’ Strictly speaking, a woman is just what he does not want. He wants a pleasure for which a woman happens to be the necessary piece of apparatus. How much he cares about the women as such may be gauged by his attitude to her five minutes after fruition (one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes)”

Sad, but CS is no dummy. Men think this way. I use to think this way. Get me and a few other guys out on the town. Our talk was nothing but about Lust.

But there is hope. In 400 AD a man named John Chrysostom wrote a book called “On marriage and Family.” I really thought it was beautiful.

"The beauty of the body, if it is not joined with virtue of the soul, will be able to hold a husband for twenty or thirty days, but will go no farther before it shows its wickedness and destroys all attractiveness. As for those who radiate the beauty of the soul, the longer time goes by and test proper nobility, the warmer they make their husbands love and the more they strengthen their affection for him. Since this is so, and since a warm and genuine friendship holds between them, every kind of immorality is driven out. Not even any thought of wantonness ever enters the mind of the man who truly loves his own wife, but he continues always content with her...”

It really is a mindset, Nobility vs. Monetary.

Society today says we need to have the trophy wife, trophy kids, blah blah blah… Oh I am just sick of it. I want the nobility. I want to be the knight.

So girls I will let you in on a little secret. We are out there. The ones you think that don’t exist. In fact some of us use to be jerkfaces. In fact some of us still are. Just don’t give up on us. Show that you won’t put up with lowered standards.

Oh and for heaven sakes… be happy about waiting. Sleeping beauty had to wait one hundred years before she met her prince.

Isn’t it funny we always forget that part of the story?

Peace, hugs and handshakes

R-

Be secure.. but becareful not to fall.

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 07:37:00 +0000

Tomorrow at 7:30 in the morning I have doctor's appointment to see how my ulcer is doing. I'm a little nervous but my stomach has been doing great in recent weeks… Well I am super hungry, but that's a good thing.

I started my Bloomsday training the other day. I'm up to a couple 9 minute miles in the gym. The true test will come when I go out on Sunday and do a run on the pavement. Losing 20 pounds to stress has some benefits. I have been doing weights at the gym and I think I am stronger then ever before. I know the more I work out the more definition I will get in my muscles. Bloomsday is a major goal for me… one of the things I want to conquer in my life.

The beard has just got to the stage when it starts to itch. Growing it out till Easter is going to be a struggle, but like many things in my life right now it has meaning.

I went to a place tonight I was worried about going. I was in a room where others were afflicted by the same things I am going through. Addiction and self hang –ups are never a good thing. I realize that I am just as compulsive as someone with other issues. It was good for me. No one asked me what affliction I am dealing with, and had they asked I might have wept. I am ready to tell others though.

I worry about the changes that might take place in my life, but if they change me into a better man… Well I can't go wrong right? Someone asked me the other night if I was dealing and changing for myself or for everyone else. The truth is I am not doing it for any one here.

One thing I took out of the meeting was if you can obsess about anything way to much.

So that's where I am at. I have great friends around me that have been supportive of the new journey I have started on. Even friends online have been supportive. I read and write every night and I am running everyday.

In all I feel calmer… except in the moments when I want to fix everything and start obsessing about everything. It's a relapse. But I realize it will happen. I just need to get back up and keep working on it.

Peace, Hugs and Handshakes,

R-

Happy V-Day

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:54:00 +0000

On love

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:26:00 +0000

My friend Aaron wrote a blog post recently… this was my reply. If he allows me to repost his post I will.

On Love

I agree ...

It sucks the little girl got hurt. It sucks that the man has lost his masculinity. We are broken people since the time of Adam. Life isn't going to get any easier. Best to love your neighbors and and enemies then live in a world where we can not forgive.

People find each other for different reasons. Love will never be easy. People have different ways of dealing with issue. Some want to talk about it till they lose their voice. Others need time alone. They need time to think.

The best anyone can ask for is forgiveness and a supporting partner that will work with them in the good times and bad.

Wedding vows are a strong bond. You are saying to the other person, Listen, I know you have your faults and I have mine too. I want to open myself up to let you see all of my faults. I want to give you a place in my heart where you can come for compassion. I want to work on things.

God wept when Adam choose Eve over God. God created Adam and Eve, but when Eve ate the fruit, Adam had a choice. Stay with Eve or stay with God

Out of compassion Adam chose Eve because he didn't want her to be alone. God understand that the "beauties" in our life matter to us. That companionship is a need that we strive for. But we are broken people and the doubt, the pain, and the anger often consume us.

And it is in these moments God comes and say.. "I am here. I will hold you. I will protect you. With me all things are possible." Often we are so busy trying to fix everything that we can not hear him. Often we forsake God saying "why do you make it so hard".

But God has a different view. He says," Don't you understand (Ryan/ Aaron/ Adam) that I will never forsake you. I want you to talk to me, ask advice, let me guide you. I am not doing this because I enjoy your suffering. I am your father and it pains me to see you suffer. Give your love to me and I will help you through."

And that's where love needs to start. On every American dollar bill our forefathers said it.

"In God we trust"

That’s how I see it. The love that we need to show others is the love the father shows to us. I need to show a forgiving, compassionate love. Maybe that’s something that people in past relationships didn’t understand. With me, if you do something you think would hurt me… say your sorry, mean it and I will forgive you. I will move on. We will work on any issue that will arise and I will let the past is the past. The past is location not a destination.

If a person is sorry for hurting me…I can’t hold a grudge. It’s not my nature.

You know talking about all this relationship stuff brings me back to when I was with Diana. I think the downfall in that relationship was when I received an IM from someone that said Diana was cheating on me. The person wouldn’t say who they were, but knew enough about Diana and the classes that I allowed myself to believe them. Instead of just coming out to Diana and saying what I had heard... I let things steam. I assumed things and I shutdown.

Looking back now, Diana is not the kind of person to do such a thing. Hindsight is 20/20. I think that relationship (my first) conformed some of my other relationships. I now have trust issue. It’s interesting to look at the dichotomy of my relationships. I trust people until I get this seed of doubt. Why do I get this way? I have some theories but it sometimes deals with the reaffirmations of love. Let’s say a relationship gets in its first fight. I don’t feel loved and I let things spiral. With me (like Aaron) I need to know I am loved. Maybe that’s a weird thing for a guy to say. Usually it is the other way around. That the woman wants her husband to say I love you more. When relationships pull away from me… I freak. I want to fix things so bad that I worry. I get jealous.
I get resentful. I shutdown and I lose the thing that made the relationship sparkle.

It’s day and night with me. I shine during the good times. I am dull during the bad.

I can’t be the only guy out there that does this. In the 27 years I have lived I am now starting to understand I have to have hope in things that I can’t sometimes understand. I had a good friend last night tell me that. She said “Have hope”.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

God is Hope.

Peace, hugs and handshakes,

R-

Supplemental

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:34:00 +0000

Listen this funk I am in isn’t healthy for me. I recently got a card from my parents for Valentines Day. I really like the card. So here I am. This is who I am. I am changing and becoming a better person. I am. While everyone else can give up on me…I won’t give up on me. The last few weeks I have been going through my own personal Hell. I felt everything crushing down on me. I just dealt with lots of doubt, mistrust, and just unknowns.

Everything hit a head on Tuesday when I felt like I had my chest basically open up and eat my alive. That evening I went and got my medicine and came back to the house and watched Band of Brothers with Chris.

Wednesday morning I started the medicine and felt instantly better. Now the only thing I have been feeling are extreme hunger pains. Which I look at as good cause my body wants to gain back the 20 lbs it lost.

I am a compassionate man. I really do care about my friends. I’m leery of picking up hitchhikers... but lately I have had this feeling I should. One of my friends is dealing with some major issue in his own life. I am worried about him. So last night I went downtown to catch a bite and give him a call. I asked him if he wanted to meet me for coffee. He wanted too. I could tell in his voice he missed hanging and really wanted to again. We made a plan to meet up at Empyrean. I waited for awhile and then gave him a call. It started snowing after an hour and I decided that maybe I needed to go home. I gave him another call and let him know we should meet another night. He called back and said for reasons he didn’t want to get into he couldn’t meet up that night.

He didn’t have to explain.

While I spent my time alone at the Empyrean someone car got stuck outside. I went outside and helped them out. That’s who I am. I help people. If that means listening to the issues in there life, if that means pushing someone out of a snow bank, if that means being there for someone when they don’t have anyone.

That’s who I am.

Over the years I have been told I am too nice, a push over, indecisive. To heck I say to this. It is who I am. I’m too nice? Bah!! I don’t make a fuss cause I figure there are bigger issues to worry about. Because I got the wrong dressing on my salad seems to not compare to all those who are in poverty and don’t even get a salad to eat. I let others take over decisions because I am not willing to fight? Bah… I have fought battles and I have learned. I now pick my battles. I am Indecisive? Bah!! If the decision really mattered I would make the decision. But why not look at it the other direction. I am giving someone else the right to have a say. I could make all the decisions but then we would have another issue… wouldn’t we? I am who I am. Now do I need some work? Yes… but who doesn’t? Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1) so don’t judge me if you aren’t willing to be judge by the same standards. I’m becoming a better person. Take it or leave it.

It is the story I leave.

The sun is shining today and the snow is melting. Awhile back I made a post about a book called His Dream. His Dream is still being worked on everyday, because it’s not a man’s dream. It’s a dream of what a higher power has for a man. Everyone has a story. I am leaving my story for my kids. I want them to know about the struggles I had. Life is hard… wouldn’t we all be better with a manual.

New Life

So call this the first day of my new life. Not that different from the old life, just a reaffirmation that inside this broken soul there is a great guy. I am a guy that is compassionate, talented, a bit “zany”, kindhearted, and generous and someone who has a great sense of humor. Take it or leave it. Jeremy Camp said it best.

Let this old life crumble, let it fade.
Let this new life offered be your saving grace.
Let this old life crumble, let it fade, let it fade.

My Testimony

Yes! Struggles have plagued me. Yes! I was a person that hid behind a mask. Yes! I am now different then I was a few months ago. Will everyone like that person. How knows? Like I said everyone can give up on me… but I can’t give up on me. I am a great person. A person people care about. So much so, I have received questions this week on how I was doing from unexpected sources. I must have some sort of effect on people that they still care... after all that has gone on or happened. People that I feel shouldn’t care if I am happy… want me to be happy. That has to be saying something.

The journey

This journey has gone thru a valley, but now I can start to go up the mountain. From the top I can see where I have been, where the hardship were, and hopefully, get a better clue on where I need to go.

Take it or leave it. I will not give up on anyone… especially myself. That’s what I have learned. Everything can be forgiven. Everything deserves a second chance. Everything will work out in the end.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child; I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Compassion, forgiveness, and love are the new virtues I stand by. You all matter in my eyes.

Peace, hugs and handshakes,

R-

Poem

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 02:52:00 +0000

Ryan by the numbers

(A poem in realism)

I’m 27

Height 6’1

Weight 153 lbs because I recently loss...

20 pounds due to stresses in my life.

Because of that my ulcer has flared up…

Causing me to go doctor

Co-pay $25.dollars

He gave me a prescription for the Prev-Pac

$335 dollars.

You take it for 14 days

8 pills a day

4 in the morning

4 in the evening

That’s 112 pills

3 dollars a pill.

That’s my life in numbers.

$ 3 dollar pills

Stress

But at least I saved $53 dollars by having insurance.

02.05.08 @ 6:50 PM

The questions I always wonder about but I am afraid to ask.

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:57:00 +0000

So I have been reading a Book called Wild at Heart: Discovering the secret of a man's soul. I find the book explaining addictions, tendencies, relationships and why I have been a certain way for so long.

I am going to start this off by saying… I have not been truthful to you. The person you have seen is not the true person I am. In front of my friends I can be the joy of the party… I can say things don't bother me, but they do. I can say that everything is okay… but honestly its not. The reason I am saying this is because for the longest time I have looked at everyone in my life wondering… Why do they want me around? What are they trying to get out of me? Or what can I get out of them? I did this with roommates, ex's, friends … you name it… I could never believe anyone wanted me around, because of me.

My roommates at one time use to say, "Why is that assface with that person?" when they saw a real jerk in a bar or restaurant. I'd agree with then… "Ya I would never treat someone like that" I would say… Meanwhile in the back of my head I was thinking… I am the assface. I just hide it, but on a façade and let people believe what they want to believe.

For the longest time I have judged my masculinity on society's version of what is significant. The book has just asked me to be honest with myself and say where I feel my sense of power comes from. This has been an eye opener for me… Here is what I think makes me powerful.

Making sure I have a secure and great position at a company.

That I make sure I am living on my own with no roommates or help from friends and family.

Make sure that I have a relationship.

Make sure I have a lot of friends that like me... because that shows to other I am important in other people's lives.

That I make my parents happy by never asking for help and that I prove to them that my life is always secure and never broken.

That I can prove myself to former classmates that I am better off then they are.

That I can prove to former ex's and friends that my life is better off with out them around.

These things were the things that made me feel powerful, but the true question... Did they make me more of a man?

The book asks then for me to ask myself… How would I feel tomorrow if I lost everything on this list? And that my friend becomes the problem. I am living for this list and not for myself and my own character. According to the definition of what makes me feel "proud" of myself… if I lost it all tomorrow I would be devastated. More then devastated… extremely lost, crushed, doubtful, angry, upset, mortified and impotent. Even the thought and stress of losing any of these have made me feel this away already, and when that happens I start to shut down.

This list isn't what makes a man. What makes a man is passion, humility, servitude, being strong in the face of adversity, being decisive when needing to be, and sitting back and listening when that time comes, loving people who love you. That's the man I want to be... not the poser I have been. That's why I am doing this.

The questions I have for my friends are these.

What is my effect on you?

What am I like to live/work/be with?

What don't you feel you can bring up to me?

Maybe this post will come as a shock. Maybe it will reaffirm some thoughts you have had for years on me. In the end the post is just helping me on a journey…one to find my own voice.

Peace

Proverbs 10:12

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 20:33:00 +0000

From the shores of Lake Wobegon
Came this young man
With a dream in his heart
And a plan in his hand

West was the place
He needed to be
To follow his dream
It was destiny.

Who could have known the people he'd meet
The friends that he'd make
The loss,
The defeat

The love of others
The truth he would find
Friends who care
And those who are kind

Now it's easy to see,
Where this story will go.
He met Taralynn
love started to grow.

Her smile, her laughter
They made him smile too.
He knew what matter
That love will come through.

They've stayed together
Half a year, a few days from today.
It's the start of the book,
The start of the play.

The man opens the door.
A beautiful woman walks by
He smiles and is flustered
He looks into her eyes.

He screws up the meal
But he makes a friend
Not for just that day
But forever, the end.

The triumphs, the falls.
The work will we go through
Always remember,
This Lake Wobegon boy loves you.

Ryan Warzecha 2007

Poem

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 10:31:00 +0000

Genesis

Across the stars he gazes into oblivion,
watching,
as the heavenly bodies sail across the sea of space.

The planets play in synchronized patterns.
The movement is as in a symphony,
each instrument being essential to the whole.

Gestalt

And from the darkness…comes light.

Ryan Warzecha 2007

Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 05:24:00 +0000

Cleaning out the closet

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 00:01:00 +0000

It’s been a long time since I have done this, so please bear with me.

We all have closets. We put things in them. Sometimes these things are seasonal trinkets, sometimes they are old videos of family and friends, but better yet sometimes it old clothes that one will never wear.

Every once and awhile I like going through my closet and trashing things I don’t need. “Would I ever wear a sweater with golf clubs on it?” Sorry Mom and Dad… some things might seem like good thoughts at the time… but really??

I’m sort of a pack rat. I get that from my father. However I love the feeling when I shred papers. Knowing they are gone forever never to return. In this digital world it’s easy to change your past and Photoshop people out of your life. But should we? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind deals with this very topic. So I have Gigs of pictures. Most I need to delete. Just images I really don’t want in my life anymore. It’s hard to explain, but for the first time in my life I really want to let go of the past, don’t forget the past, but let it go. I always seem to hold on something from the past, but why? It’s not helping me where I am today. It’s not making today better… so its time to let it go.

I also need to pitch the emotional baggage that has been in the closet for awhile. I need to stop playing the victim. Yes, bad things happen. Yes, once they happen we can’t do anything about them. I need to do as someone once told me, “Deal with it”. I have a laundry list of personal issues. Trust issues, stress, self worth issues, never being good enough, never living up to my potential. Most of these issues stem from situations that took place during my middle school and high school years and maybe before. It’s because of these issues I am horribly destructive to relationships I am in. Instead of being confident on who I am I live in a mode in which I make myself believe, “why would she want to be with me”.

That’s a horrible way to live. You start doubting everything. You start reading into things that shouldn’t be read into. (Well with my Ex it was all true.) It’s just a destructive way to live. People like people who are confident and are ready to conquer the world. They want people who are ready to kick ass and take names. People like passionate people.

When I moved to Spokane I had a lot of passion to get where I am at. Since I got to that position I feel I have been slowly regressing and becoming apathetic. I hate apathy. Where is the guy who wrote the About Me? I once wrote this “Dante said that the hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in time of crisis remain neutral, so I am often passionate about items in my daily life.

No matter what it's a beautiful world, rain or shine. I have dreams and I will go after them, I am passionate and believe in my convictions.” Damn… While the text seems somewhat dry...I remember that person. He wanted to change the world. He wanted to make a difference. He’s still here but I think he’s behind the cowboy hat and polyester pants, he’s in the back of the closet.

Another thing I need to do is forgive myself for what I have done to others. I was not the best boyfriend in the world. It’s funny, when I had roommates we use to talk about A-holes who get good looking girls, girls that deserve to be with someone else. In the back of my mind at times I would think to myself “I am that A-hole”. Someone kick me in the head. Karma might be something you believe in… but don’t use it as an excuse not to be happy. Don’t be destructive.

If you haven’t figured it out yet... this blog is not one I am typing for anyone else but me. It’s a blog to get me moving again.

It’s time for me to clean out my closet. I need to throw all these issues out and grow. I need to do this to better myself and be a stronger person in general. Take everyday for what it is and live life to its fullest. The one thing I should have taken from Josh’s death is “Live life for today, live it to the fullest, you never know what tomorrow will bring. This does not mean don’t plan for the future. Just don’t let the past be a destination. History will repeat itself unless we learn from it.

I have a wonderful family, awesome friends, and a girlfriend that loves me and who I want to give my life too. I surround myself with good positive people that care. I want to better myself, NOW!

So where do I start. Well… always looking on the bright side of life. I am going to realize that not everyone is trying to get me. I am going smile. I’m writing down my dreams and I am going to tackle them. I am going to write down my faults and fix them. I am going to let down my walls and let people in.

A friend said after my last relationship that I needed to take anything that reminded me of it and burn it. At that time I thought it was a harsh thing to do. I now understand why she said it. Even though I have a box of broken promises hidden somewhere in my closet I still know its there. Its there saying, “look at me, I am the box of bad memories and hard times... you should feel sorry for yourself sucker… You should not be happy”. I say screw the box (reminded of the Justin Timberlake SNL short.) The box is dead tonight (I’ll have pictures of the event) and anyone else who wants to destroy their personal box tonight let me know. I have a fireplace.

A change needs to happen and it needs to happen NOW.

With everything else, I am looking to take some night classes at the community college here.

I will leave you with some awesome Les Brown quotes.

“If you don't program yourself, life will program you!”
“Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.”
“Forgive those who have hurt you.”
“Help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.”
“Review your goals twice every day in order to be focused on achieving them.”
“You need to make a commitment, and once you make it, then life will give you some answers.”
“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

And one final one…

“Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars.”

Peace, hugs and handshakes.

Hmm...

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 17:11:00 +0000

House Representative 2008 - Doh!
Senator in 2012
President in 2016

Poem

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 03:25:00 +0000

What you do to me
By Ryan Warzecha

I see your face and I smile.
I think of your hugs and I grin
I imagine us together, forever
And I can’t wait for it to begin.

I watch you sleep and I wonder
What dreams are you thinking of
Of me and you together?
By the grace of God above.

And when I go to sleep
I think about you again
The times we have together
Our family, our friends

When I wake tomorrow
I’ll have a smile on my face
I’ll know you love me
By God’s given grace.

So thank you for tonight
And thanks for yesterday
And thank you for tomorrow
In God’s name I pray.

My mother

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 16:25:00 +0000

I’m proud of my mother and she is proud of her job. In the latest news from Lake Wobegon my mother made it into the paper. The local paper did a story about custodians and their interaction with kids. My mom got her picture on the front page and a little blurb inside.

The 700 children of Pine Meadow often call out, "Hi, janitor lady," to Rosie Warzecha, who recently became the school's head custodian.

"I try to be a role model for the kids. I show them that you can be kind, friendly and respectful," Warzecha said. "Kids can tell when you care about them, and I care about these kids."

What the article doesn’t mention are all the other jobs my mother has. My parents own a farm, so she does day to day operations on that. When I was back in Minnesota we were building a shed so we could expand the farm. The family also owns a nursery with a broad range of trees and shrubs.

You can read the full article here.

Obama

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 16:52:00 +0000

The following speech done was done by Barack Obama at DePaul University. I really don’t want Hillary Clinton to win the primary. Hypothetically speaking, if she won the primary and the presidency and was reelected we would have had 28 years of the Bush/Clinton Dynasty in the White House.

We could discuss for hours about why Clinton might be better then Obama, but the truth is the Democrats need someone on the ballet that can sway Republican voters. That person is Barack Obama. Now for the speech –

“We come together at a time of renewal for DePaul. A new academic year has begun. Professors are learning the names of new students, and students are reminded that you actually do have to attend class. That cold is beginning to creep into the Chicago air. The season is changing.

DePaul is now filled with students who have not spent a single day on campus without the reality of a war in Iraq. Four classes have matriculated and four classes have graduated since this war began.

And we are reminded that America's sons and daughters in uniform, and their families, bear the heavy burden. The wife of one soldier from Illinois wrote to me and said that her husband "feels like he's stationed in Iraq and deploys home." That's a tragic statement. And it could be echoed by families across our country who have seen loved ones deployed to tour after tour of duty.

You are students. And the great responsibility of students is to question the world around you, to question things that don't add up. With Iraq, we must ask the question: how did we go so wrong?

There are those who offer up easy answers. They will assert that Iraq is George Bush's war, it's all his fault. Or that Iraq was botched by the arrogance and incompetence of Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. Or that we would have gotten Iraq right if we went in with more troops, or if we had a different proconsul instead of Paul Bremer, or if only there were a stronger Iraqi Prime Minister.

These are the easy answers. And like most easy answers, they are partially true. But they don't tell the whole truth, because they overlook a harder and more fundamental truth. The hard truth is that the war in Iraq is not about a catalog of many mistakes - it is about one big mistake. The war in Iraq should never have been fought.

Five years ago today, I was asked to speak at a rally against going to war in Iraq. The vote to authorize the war in Congress was less than ten days away and I was a candidate for the United States Senate. Some friends of mine advised me to keep quiet. Going to war in Iraq, they pointed out, was popular. All the other major candidates were supporting the war at the time. If the war goes well, they said, you'll have thrown your political career away.

But I didn't see how Saddam Hussein posed an imminent threat. I was convinced that a war would distract us from Afghanistan and the real threat from al Qaeda. I worried that Iraq's history of sectarian rivalry could leave us bogged down in a bloody conflict. And I believed the war would fan the flames of extremism and lead to new terrorism. So I went to the rally. And I argued against a "rash war" - a "war based not on reason, but on politics" - "an occupation of undetermined length, with undetermined costs, and undetermined consequences."

I was not alone. Though not a majority, millions of Americans opposed giving the President the authority to wage war in Iraq. Twenty-three Senators, including the leader of the Senate Intelligence Committee, shared my concerns and resisted the march to war. For us, the war defied common sense. After all, the people who hit us on 9/11 were in Afghanistan, not Iraq.

But the conventional thinking in Washington has a way of buying into stories that make political sense even if they don't make practical sense. We were told that the only way to prevent Iraq from getting nuclear weapons was with military force. Some leading Democrats echoed the Administration's erroneous line that there was a connection between Saddam Hussein and al Qaeda. We were counseled by some of the most experienced voices in Washington that the only way for Democrats to look tough was to talk, act and vote like a Republican.

As Ted Sorensen's old boss President Kennedy once said "the pursuit of peace is not as dramatic as the pursuit of war" and frequently the words of the pursuer fall on deaf ears." In the fall of 2002, those deaf ears were in Washington. They belonged to a President who didn't tell the whole truth to the American people; who disdained diplomacy and bullied allies; and who squandered our unity and the support of the world after 9/11.

But it doesn't end there. Because the American people weren't just failed by a President - they were failed by much of Washington. By a media that too often reported spin instead of facts. By a foreign policy elite that largely boarded the bandwagon for war. And most of all by the majority of a Congress - "a coequal branch of government" - that voted to give the President the open-ended authority to wage war that he uses to this day. Let's be clear: without that vote, there would be no war.

Some seek to rewrite history. They argue that they weren't really voting for war, they were voting for inspectors, or for diplomacy. But the Congress, the Administration, the media, and the American people all understood what we were debating in the fall of 2002. This was a vote about whether or not to go to war. That's the truth as we all understood it then, and as we need to understand it now. And we need to ask those who voted for the war: how can you give the President a blank check and then act surprised when he cashes it?

With all that we know about what's gone wrong in Iraq, even today's debate is divorced from reality. We've got a surge that is somehow declared a success even though it has failed to enable the political reconciliation that was its stated purpose. The fact that violence today is only as horrific as in 2006 is held up as progress. Washington politicians and pundits trip over each other to debate a newspaper advertisement while our troops fight and die in Iraq.

And the conventional thinking today is just as entrenched as it was in 2002. This is the conventional thinking that measures experience only by the years you've been in Washington, not by your time spent serving in the wider world. This is the conventional thinking that has turned against the war, but not against the habits that got us into the war in the first place. The outdated assumptions and the refusal to talk openly to the American people.

Well I'm not running for President to conform to Washington's conventional thinking - I'm running to challenge it. I'm not running to join the kind of Washington groupthink that led us to war in Iraq - I'm running to change our politics and our policy so we can leave the world a better place than our generation has found it.

So there is a choice that has emerged in this campaign, one that the American people need to understand. They should ask themselves: who got the single most important foreign policy decision since the end of the Cold War right, and who got it wrong. This is not just a matter of debating the past. It's about who has the best judgment to make the critical decisions of the future. Because you might think that Washington would learn from Iraq. But we've seen in this campaign just how bent out of shape Washington gets when you challenge its assumptions.

When I said that as President I would lead direct diplomacy with our adversaries, I was called naïve and irresponsible. But how are we going to turn the page on the failed Bush-Cheney policy of not talking to our adversaries if we don't have a President who will lead that diplomacy?

When I said that we should take out high-level terrorists like Osama bin Laden if we have actionable intelligence about their whereabouts, I was lectured by legions of Iraq War supporters. They said we can't take out bin Laden if the country he's hiding in won't. A few weeks later, the co-chairmen of the 9/11 Commission - Tom Kean and Lee Hamilton - agreed with my position. But few in Washington seemed to notice. Some people made a different argument on this issue. They said we can take out bin Laden, we just can't say that we will. I reject this. I am a candidate for President of the United States, and I believe that the American people have a right to know where I stand.

And when I said that we can rule out the use of nuclear weapons to take out a terrorist training camp, it was immediately branded a "gaffe" because I did not recite the conventional Washington-speak. But is there any military planner in the world who believes that we need to drop a nuclear bomb on a terrorist training camp?

We need to question the world around us. When we have a debate about experience, we can't just debate who has the most experience scoring political points. When we have a debate about experience, we can't just talk about who fought yesterday's battles ." we have to focus on who can face the challenges and seize the opportunities of tomorrow. Because no matter what we think about George Bush, he's going to be gone in January 2009. He's not on the ballot. This election is about ending the Iraq War, but even more it's about moving beyond it. And we're not going be safe in a world of unconventional threats with the same old conventional thinking that got us into Iraq. We're not going to unify a divided America to confront these threats with the same old conventional politics of just trying to beat the other side.

In 2009, we will have a window of opportunity to renew our global leadership and bring our nation together. If we don't seize that moment, we may not get another. This election is a turning point. The American people get to decide: are we going to turn back the clock, or turn the page?

I want to be straight with you. If you want conventional Washington thinking, I'm not your man. If you want rigid ideology, I'm not your man. If you think that fundamental change can wait, I'm definitely not your man. But if you want to bring this country together, if you want experience that's broader than just learning the ways of Washington, if you think that the global challenges we face are too urgent to wait, and if you think that America must offer the world a new and hopeful face, then I offer a different choice in this race and a different vision for our future.

The first thing we have to do is end this war. And the right person to end it is someone who had the judgment to oppose it from the beginning. There is no military solution in Iraq, and there never was. I will begin to remove our troops from Iraq immediately. I will remove one or two brigades a month, and get all of our combat troops out of Iraq within 16 months. The only troops I will keep in Iraq will perform the limited missions of protecting our diplomats and carrying out targeted strikes on al Qaeda. And I will launch the diplomatic and humanitarian initiatives that are so badly needed. Let there be no doubt: I will end this war.

But it's also time to learn the lessons of Iraq. We're not going to defeat the threats of the 21st century on a conventional battlefield. We cannot win a fight for hearts and minds when we outsource critical missions to unaccountable contractors. We're not going to win a battle of ideas with bullets alone.

Make no mistake: we must always be prepared to use force to protect America. But the best way to keep America safe is not to threaten terrorists with nuclear weapons - it's to keep nuclear weapons and nuclear materials away from terrorists. That's why I've worked with Republican Senator Dick Lugar to pass a law accelerating our pursuit of loose nuclear materials. And that's why I'll lead a global effort to secure all loose nuclear materials during my first term in office.

But we need to do much more. We need to change our nuclear policy and our posture, which is still focused on deterring the Soviet Union ." a country that doesn't exist. Meanwhile, India and Pakistan and North Korea have joined the club of nuclear-armed nations, and Iran is knocking on the door. More nuclear weapons and more nuclear-armed nations mean more danger to us all.

Here's what I'll say as President: America seeks a world in which there are no nuclear weapons.

We will not pursue unilateral disarmament. As long as nuclear weapons exist, we'll retain a strong nuclear deterrent. But we'll keep our commitment under the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty on the long road towards eliminating nuclear weapons. We'll work with Russia to take U.S. and Russian ballistic missiles off hair-trigger alert, and to dramatically reduce the stockpiles of our nuclear weapons and material. We'll start by seeking a global ban on the production of fissile material for weapons. And we'll set a goal to expand the U.S.-Russian ban on intermediate-range missiles so that the agreement is global.

As we do this, we'll be in a better position to lead the world in enforcing the rules of the road if we firmly abide by those rules. It's time to stop giving countries like Iran and North Korea an excuse. It's time for America to lead. When I'm President, we'll strengthen the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty so that nations that don't comply will automatically face strong international sanctions.

This will require a new era of American diplomacy. To signal the dawn of that era, we need a President who is willing to talk to all nations, friend and foe. I'm not afraid that America will lose a propaganda battle with a petty tyrant ." we need to go before the world and win those battles. If we take the attitude that the President just parachutes in for a photo-op after an agreement has already been reached, then we're only going to reach agreements with our friends. That's not the way to protect the American people. That's not the way to advance our interests.

Just look at our history. Kennedy had a direct line to Khrushchev. Nixon met with Mao. Carter did the hard work of negotiating the Camp David Accords. Reagan was negotiating arms agreements with Gorbachev even as he called on him to "tear down this wall."

It's time to make diplomacy a top priority. Instead of shuttering consulates, we need to open them in the tough and hopeless corners of the world. Instead of having more Americans serving in military bands than the diplomatic corps, we need to grow our foreign service. Instead of retreating from the world, I will personally lead a new chapter of American engagement. It is time to offer the world a message of hope to counter the prophets of hate. My experience has brought me to the hopeless places. As a boy, I lived in Indonesia and played barefoot with children who could not dream the same dreams that I did. As an adult, I've returned to be with my family in their small village in Kenya, where the promise of America is still an inspiration. As a community organizer, I worked in South Side neighborhoods that had been left behind by global change. As a Senator, I've been to refugee camps in Chad where proud and dignified people can't hope for anything beyond the next handout.

In the 21st century, progress must mean more than a vote at the ballot box ." it must mean freedom from fear and freedom from want. We cannot stand for the freedom of anarchy. Nor can we support the globalization of the empty stomach. We need new approaches to help people to help themselves. The United Nations has embraced the Millennium Development Goals, which aim to cut extreme poverty in half by 2015. When I'm President, they will be America's goals. The Bush Administration tried to keep the UN from proclaiming these goals; the Obama Administration will double foreign assistance to $50 billion to lead the world to achieve them.

In the 21st century, we cannot stand up before the world and say that there's one set of rules for America and another for everyone else. To lead the world, we must lead by example. We must be willing to acknowledge our failings, not just trumpet our victories. And when I'm President, we'll reject torture - without exception or equivocation; we'll close Guantanamo; we'll be the country that credibly tells the dissidents in the prison camps around the world that America is your voice, America is your dream, America is your light of justice.

We cannot - we must not - let the promotion of our values be a casualty of the Iraq War. But we cannot secure America and show our best face to the world unless we change how we do business in Washington.

We all know what Iraq has cost us abroad. But these last few years we've seen an unacceptable abuse of power at home. We face real threats. Any President needs the latitude to confront them swiftly and surely. But we've paid a heavy price for having a President whose priority is expanding his own power. The Constitution is treated like a nuisance. Matters of war and peace are used as political tools to bludgeon the other side. We get subjected to endless spin to keep our troops at war, but we don't get to see the flag-draped coffins of our heroes coming home. We get secret task forces, secret budgeting, slanted intelligence, and the shameful smearing of people who speak out against the President's policies.

All of this has left us where we are today: more divided, more distrusted, more in debt, and mired in an endless war. A war to disarm a dictator has become an open-ended occupation of a foreign country. This is not America. This is not who we are. It's time for us to stand up and tell George Bush that the government in this country is not based on the whims of one person, the government is of the people, by the people and for the people.

We thought we learned this lesson. After Vietnam, Congress swore it would never again be duped into war, and even wrote a new law -- the War Powers Act -- to ensure it would not repeat its mistakes. But no law can force a Congress to stand up to the President. No law can make Senators read the intelligence that showed the President was overstating the case for war. No law can give Congress a backbone if it refuses to stand up as the co-equal branch the Constitution made it.

That is why it is not enough to change parties. It is time to change our politics. We don't need another President who puts politics and loyalty over candor. We don't need another President who thinks big but doesn't feel the need to tell the American people what they think. We don't need another President who shuts the door on the American people when they make policy. The American people are not the problem in this country" they are the answer. And it's time we had a President who acted like that.

I will always tell the American people the truth. I will always tell you where I stand. It's what I'm doing in this campaign. It's what I'll do as President. I'll lead a new era of openness. I'll give an annual "State of the World" address to the American people in which I lay out our national security policy. I'll draw on the legacy of one our greatest Presidents - Franklin Roosevelt and give regular "fireside webcasts," and I'll have members of my national security team do the same.

I'll turn the page on a growing empire of classified information, and restore the balance we've lost between the necessarily secret and the necessity of openness in a democratic society by creating a new National Declassification Center. We'll protect sources and methods, but we won't use sources and methods as pretexts to hide the truth. Our history doesn't belong to Washington, it belongs to America.

I'll use the intelligence that I do receive to make good policy - I won't manipulate it to sell a bad policy. We don't need any more officials who tell the President what they want to hear. I will make the Director of National Intelligence an official with a fixed term, like the Chairman of the Federal Reserve - not someone who can be fired by the President. We need consistency and integrity at the top of our intelligence agencies. We don't need politics. My test won't be loyalty - it will be the truth.

And I'll turn the page on the imperial presidency that treats national security as a partisan issue - not an American issue. I will call for a standing, bipartisan Consultative Group of congressional leaders on national security. I will meet with this Consultative Group every month, and consult with them before taking major military action. The buck will stop with me. But these discussions have to take place on a bipartisan basis, and support for these decisions will be stronger if they draw on bipartisan counsel. We're not going to secure this country unless we turn the page on the conventional thinking that says politics is just about beating the other side.

It's time to unite America, because we are at an urgent and pivotal moment.

There are those who suggest that there are easy answers to the challenges we face. We can look, they say, to Washington experience - the same experience that got us into this war. Or we can turn the page to something new, to unite this country and to seize this moment.

I am not a perfect man and I won't be a perfect President. But my own American story tells me that this country moves forward when we cast off our doubts and seek new beginnings.

It's what brought my father across an ocean in search of a dream. It's what I saw in the eyes of men and women and children in Indonesia who heard the word " America" and thought of the possibility beyond the horizon. It's what I saw in the streets of the South Side, when people who had every reason to give in decided to pick themselves up. It's what I've seen in the United States Senate when Republicans and Democrats of good will do come together to take on tough issues. And it's what I've seen in this campaign, when over half a million Americans have come together to seek the change this country needs.

Now I know that some will shake their heads. It's easy to be cynical. When it comes to our foreign policy, you get it from all sides. Some folks on the right will tell you that you don't love your country if you don't support the war in Iraq. Some folks on the left will tell you that America can do no right in the world. Some shrug their shoulders because Washington says, "trust us, we'll take care of it." And we know happened the last time they said that.

Yes, it's easy to be cynical. But right now, somewhere in Iraq, there's someone about your age. He's maybe on his second or third tour. It's hot. He would rather be at home. But he's in his uniform, got his combat gear on. He's getting in a Humvee. He's going out on patrol. He's lost a buddy in this war, maybe more. He risked his life yesterday, he's risking his life today, and he's going to risk it tomorrow.

So why do we reject the cynicism? We reject it because of men and women like him. We reject it because the legacy of their sacrifice must be a better America. We reject it because they embody the spirit of those who fought to free the slaves and free a continent from a madman; who rebuilt Europe and sent Peace Corps volunteers around the globe; because they are fighting for a better America and a better world. And I reject it because I wouldn't be on this stage if, throughout our history, America had not made the right choice over the easy choice, the ambitious choice over the cautious choice. I wouldn't be here if I didn't think we were ready to move past the fights of the 1960s and the 1990s. I wouldn't be here if, time and again, the torch had not been passed to a new generation ." to unite this country at home, to show a new face of this country to the world. I'm running for the presidency of the United States of America so that together we can do the hard work to seek a new dawn of peace and prosperity for our children, and for the children of the world.”

Minnesota Update

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 01:15:00 +0000

Minnesota Update

More pics can be seen on the pics page.

Wednesday,

The train left Spokane and was a good ride.. I saw snow just out side of Glacier and met some really cool people. Including a guy who said he was from the future and going back in time. He played the accordion and we sang drinking and polka tunes till about 1 AM in the morning on the lounge car. I also met a guy who brought a bottle of wine in the hopes that he would find an "Amtrak Girlfriend"

Overall, I will take this trip again sometime.

From the train window -

Train window 2

Train window 2

Train 3

train 4

Train 6

Thursday Morning

I arrived to the St. Cloud station around 5 AM in the morning. My father took me out for breakfast and then I went home. I slept till about 2 in the afternoon. Thats when the storms showed up.

Video from the storm -

Storm

Later that night Dan let me know that they were playing volleyball at Trobics. I decided I would go and visit.

volleyball

Friday morning

I decided I would take out the four-wheeler to capture some video so that Tara and anyone else could see where I grew up.

Home

Later in the day I drove around and then went to visit my Grandpa and Grandma.

My sister was nice enough to bring over my nephew so I had some quality time with him.

Luke dancing

luke

Later that evening I went over to Dans to watch him work on the 1935 Chevy he is rebuilding for the wedding. It was pretty cool to see. I then ended up going to the bars with his brother. Only 1 Irish car bomb that night.

Saturday
I went biking on the Lake Wobegon Trail. Please check out pics of the Mississippi River in the picture section. After I went for the bike ride my family asked me to help work on a shed they.

Videos of the shed going up.

shed

shed 2

And now I have been in the coffee shop for the last couple hours.. checking emails, uploading videos and pic, and just happy to be back "home" in Minnesota.

My New CD

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 19:06:00 +0000

The industry told me not to quit my day job. They said Polka music isn’t “popular” enough.

Bah I say!!

So if you’re looking for some ump papa.

You’ve come to the right place

Look what I got in my inbox.

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 16:55:00 +0000

Dear Roommate Ryan,
Good morning, it is morning here already. Just a quick hello to say hi and let you know that the payment will definitely arrive today via FedEx. Here is the FedEx tracking 8618 3778 7699 www.fedex.com you can track it to know when it will get to you. Kindly keep an eye on the mail box. And if there won't be anyone at home for the delivery then endeavor to drop a note on your front door indicating your name or Your name as a signature so that the package can be dropped on your front door OR side door OR back door then you can pick up the package when you get home and proceed to your bank before your Bank closes for the day's business.

Apply $600 towards my room rent and $2, 500 via Western Union Money Transfer Location near you to my insurance travel agent for my flight and other bill. I don't know what the western union charges will cost to wire the money but kindly let me know the charges used to wire the money so as to put up my balance with you.

The below information is the western union information needed.

Name.................................... Lesly Jean
Address................................ 446 J.J Dessalines
City...................................... Port Au Prince
Post Code............................. HT 6112
Country................................. Haiti
Amount................................. $2, 500

E-mail me the Western Union MTCN code for the transaction after you are through today. And let me know the western union charges used to wire it.

I will also like to know how your schedule will look like to know if you can pick me from the Airport. Looking forward to meet you soon. Keep me posted.

Best Regards
Your Roommate

Do I look that stupid???

Grr ....

Ryan

Fraud

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 20:18:00 +0000

Fraud alert

Looking back I should have seen the sign’s. Here is a warning for people who are looking for a roommate. I am still looking for one.

In early June I made an account on Rent.com saying I was looking for a roommate. A few days later I received this reply…

How do you do? Am Emily Huxley. I saw your advert about the place you have to rent out, kindly get back to me if you still have the place available. Be kind to reach me at my private email (walkwithemily02@yahoo.com) as am not a upgraded member here. Am looking forward to moving in soon. Am a mature, fun-loving, responsible, honest and a neat person. i will wait to read from you sooner. Thanks. Regards EMILY email: walkwithemily02@yahoo.com

I decided to write back and replied with this.

Hey Emily,

My name is Ryan Warzecha and you were looking for a roommate in Spokane?
I am still looking for someone to move into my apartment. Please let me know if you are still interested.

Sorry for not getting back to you sooner.

Hope to hear from you

Ryan

She wrote back with this..

Thanks for your response email. Hope your week has been smooth so far. I will no longer be coming to the states with my child because her granny has decided to take care of her here in the UK. I alone will need the room and i will like to get a place ready for me to stay.

I will say about me, I'm a deaf, nice, honest, clean, quiet woman with a promising bright child i adore so much ,she is my life . I studied nursing and would be working in the states as soon as i get the place, i will send some applications because i have my certified documents of Nursing. My leaving without her will be quite difficult for me and her but we are getting over it .

I am planning to move in 1st week of July, hope that is okay with you? And i will need a place to call home. I will be renting the room on a long term lease. About 6 to 8months.

Do you have any picture to share with me? What is the present color of the room? What is the total move in asking amount and the method of payment? And will you be living in the building as well?

What facilities do you have provided at your place? how close are you to shopping, restaurants, grocery stores etc?

These are the few things i can think up to ask for now.looking forward to your reply, I will attach a picture of me so you can see what I look like. Thanks

Regards
EMILY.

I wrote back with the details, even gave her the link of video of my apartment.

In a day she wrote back with this.

The info you gave me is sweet to me as am hoping to move in June. I think i will like the place hopefully we come to good terms. I have been little busy these days as am meeting several housecarers for my daughter.

I will like to make a two month upfront deposit on the room so that it will be secure. Am deaf person and i do not see how i can give you a phone call, please bear with me. Yes I know where Spokane is but I have never been there.LOL.

I forgot to tell you that I have a bachelor in nursing degree, at the university of Manchester school of nursing and I specialize in learning disability nursing. I work with people with learning disabilities to help them. Although online nursing degree programs is what am yet to practice but am looking forward to soon.

I just finished writing my master's in London. And i have been pressing good buttons as per where to work when i get there.... so am not going to be jobless because i have always like living in the States.

Let me know in which name and where I can mail out a cashier's check to as payment you prefer and if its okay i deposit for two months. I will like to finalize things with you so am assured that I have secured my new place. Thanks and hope to hear from you.
Regards
EMILY

I sent her an email with my name and address… and then waited to hear from her.

This is when I started feeling weird… The videos on You Tube didn’t have any views. She didn’t even check out to see where she would be living. I didn’t give that many details in the email. Something was up. I started emailing her questions. When are you flying in? Can I speak to a relative? She didn’t respond. At this moment I decided to go back to the original email and read it over again. On the bottom of the email rent.com had a watermark that said.

Stay safe online.
Please beware of fraudulent activity such as Roommates offering a high-value cashier's check as rent payment.

How can someone be a fraud as a renter? I looked into this more. I also searched her name in Google and found out she was looking for an apartment in Chico, CA. I still gave her the benefit of the doubt but decided to write her and say this.

I should have said this earlier. Since this sounds like a fraud case, I will not cash the cashers check until you move in. If you end up backing out, the check will never be cashed and it will be burned.

I do hope that this is not a fraud case, but I have to be wary.

Ryan

After days of not hearing from her… she writes…

Now this email sounds shocking to me. Am not a fake and i am not a criminal. Do receive the check and take it to your bank for proper verificate before you proceed. Am so surprise you quick to think evil about me. Am not like that. Good luck.

Regards,

EMILY

I wrote back saying I was sorry to be quick to judge and I would wait for the check. Nothing... it’s been a few weeks and nothing not an email.

I’m glad I caught onto the scam before I was taken to the cleaners. Looking back I should have seen the signs.

The only thing that is still a bummer is I am still out of a roommate.

Peace

Breaking the habit

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 15:55:00 +0000

I have this horrible habit of chewing my finger nails. I’ve done it for years. It’s a horrible habit. Tuesday I went to the dentist and he fixed a chip in one of my front teeth. The new tooth looks great; however it now feels like I am biting on a rock if I put intense pressure on it. So I realized today that it feels weird to chew my fingernails, so much that I don’t want to do it. So after years of chewing my fingernails one dentist appointment breaks the habit.

I wonder what other habits I can quit by having an experience in my life that changes me.

Flying Irish

I’ll be attending the Flying Irish Running club again tonight. Last week I nearly died because I wasn’t use to the pace. I hope this week I can do a little better.

All the info can be found here http://www.odohertyspub.com/FlyingIrishRunningClub.htm , but all you really need to know is this.

What: Each week the Flying Irish will run approximately 3 miles. Walkers are welcome!!

When: Every Thursday meet 5:45 P.M. run 6 P.M.

Where: O'Doherty's Irish Grille 525 W. Spokane Falls Blvd.

Peace!

Dream a little dream

noreply@blogger.com (GD) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 19:53:00 +0000

Two little dreams happened recently that I feel I should write down and publish.

The first happened when I was just waking up. I looked toward the doorway of my bedroom and saw a man in a hat and suit. He looked back at me and walked out of the room.

The second dream happened a few days ago.

I’m at my reunion… either 10^th or 25^th (it could be at a wedding). The announcer/dj said,”Thank you for coming, have a great night. Make sure you talk to the teachers before you leave.”

I had just been at the bar and got a drink. I start drinking it as I walk around the event center.

I walk past a table. One very attractive woman is just listening to the beat of the music. She is very drunk. A guy is also sitting at the table ignoring his wife as her talks to another female also sitting at the table. The lady sitting at the table loves the fact that she’s flirting with the other ladies husband and that it’s making the wife jealous.

I walk to a table of good looking women. They weren’t having a conversation and were just looking around. I sit down. One of the females mentions her trip that she took in college or recently to Nice, France. I was going to start in the conversation and ask questions… when the 4 girls look over at me in a kind of disgust and say “Hi Ryan”. Then they are silent.

I get up and look at the female that was talking about Nice and say, “Some things never change. Oh wait I did.” And I start to walk away.

Now they feel a little bad and to save face they say, “Wait Ryan... Wait.”

To late I’m gone.

I throw my napkin in the trash as I walk out of place and down a side hallway. I see someone I recognize and give them a sad grin. She is in a little black dress and says, “This isn’t good. You shouldn’t be sad here. With all you have done.”

I woke up.